Staying away from love and you;

Boyy, you can never understand me. The way I feel; the way I think; the way I cry; You will never understand the LOVE I'm having for you. Guys don't lose anything but girls are the one losing everything. You and I did deep stuffs which I can never forget. I'm a girl. I was the one who was enduring the stuffs you did. Not YOU. Get thatt right! Don't judge me, just like that. I ain't your pushover. You always hurt me and say sorry. But you don't mean that sorry. Sorrows in my soul. My family is getting worried about me. I know I need to change. But, remember one thing, I'm NOT changing for YOU! My parents LOVE me. My siblings LOVE me. My grandparents CHERISH me so much. But i'm here, CRAVING for your LOVE?! WTF?! I don't know why, but their LOVE seems nothing to me like your LOVE seems to me. Its so irritating to know that after all you have done to me, I still LOVE you. I just HATE how much I LOVE you. My family comes first, then friends. THIS is how I want it to be. For whatever stuffs you do which causes me to lose myself, my FRIENDS are taking the blame for what they didn't do. Stupid huh? What did they do to take YOUR bloody fucking BLAME for YOUR damn fucking SINS! I just want to stay away from you. Its time for me to move on. Its time for me to go back to my OLD self. The "bubbly" FARHANA that My family used to know. The CHEERFUL girl that my friends used to know. I don't want to cry over you, but I always do. I will try to change. I will try not to EMO. I will TRY not to GIVE UP. Its me NOW. Its up to ME. And don't JUDGE me.